These two jokes prove that bad news has a way of getting worse.
王明去看医生。
医生看了看他，说：”我有一个坏消息。你只有两天可以活了。”
王明非常害怕。”我想听第二个医生的意见！”
医生想了想，说：”好的。你的头发也很难看。”
—-
儿子给爸爸打电话。
“爸爸，关于你的车，我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。你想先听哪个？”
爸爸说：”先说好消息。”
儿子说：”安全气囊非常好用。”
Hover a word for its pinyin & meaning; click to pin it.
| Word | Pinyin | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 医生 | yī shēng | doctor |
| 坏消息 | huài xiāo xi5 | bad news |
| 害怕 | hài pà | to be afraid; scared |
| 意见 | yì jiàn | opinion |
| 头发 | tóu fa5 | hair |
| 难看 | nán kàn | ugly; unpleasant to look at |
| 打电话 | dǎ diàn huà | to make a phone call |
| 关于 | guān yú | about; regarding |
| 安全气囊 | ān quán qì náng | airbag |
| 好用 | hǎo yòng | easy to use; works well</p> |
| 王明 | Wáng Míng | Wang Ming (1904-1974), Soviet-trained Chinese communist, Comintern and Soviet stooge and left adventurist in the 1930s, fell out with Mao and moved to Soviet Union from 1956 |
| 去 | qù | to go; to go to (a place); (of a time etc) last; just passed; to send; to remove; to get rid of; to reduce; to be apart from in space or time; to die (euphemism); to play (a part);… |
| 看医生 | kàn yī shēng | to visit a doctor |
| 看 | kān | to look after; to take care of; to watch; to guard |
| 了 | le | (completed action marker); (modal particle indicating change of state, situation now); (modal particle intensifying preceding clause); (bound form) clear in one's mind; to understand clearly |
| 他 | tā | (third-person singular) (since the early 20th century, usu. male) he; him; his; (bound form) other; another; some other (as in 他日[ta1 ri4] and 他人[ta1 ren2]) |
| 说 | shuì | to persuade; variant of 說|说[shuo1] |
| 我 | wǒ | I; me; my |
| 有 | yǒu | to have; there is; (bound form) having; with; -ful; -ed; -al (as in 有意[you3 yi4] intentional) |
| 一个 | yī ge | a; an; one; the whole (afternoon, summer vacation etc) |
| 你 | nǐ | you (informal, as opposed to courteous 您[nin2]); you (Note: In Taiwan, 妳 is used to address females, but in mainland China, it is not commonly used. Instead, 你 is used to address both males and females.) |
| 只有 | zhǐ yǒu | only have ...; there is only ...; (used in combination with 才[cai2]) it is only if ... (that one can ...) (as in 只有通過治療才能痊愈|只有通过治疗才能痊愈[zhi3 you3 tong1 guo4 zhi4 liao2 cai2 neng2 qu… |
| 两 | liǎng | two; both; some; a few; tael, unit of weight equal to 50 grams (modern) or 1⁄16 of a catty 斤[jin1] (old) |
| 天 | tiān | day; sky; heaven |
| 可以 | kě yǐ | can; may; possible; able to; not bad; pretty good |
| 活 | huó | to live; alive; living; work; workmanship |
| 非常 | fēi cháng | very; really; unusual; extraordinary |
| 想 | xiǎng | to think (about); to think of; to devise; to think (that); to believe (that); to desire; to want (to); to miss (feel wistful about the absence of) |
| 听 | yǐn | smile (archaic); to listen to; to hear; to heed; to obey; a can (loanword from English "tin"); classifier for canned beverages; to let be; to allow (Taiwan pr. [ting4]); (literary) to administer; t… |
| 第 | dì | (prefix indicating ordinal number, as in 第六[di4 liu4] "sixth"); (literary) grades in which successful candidates in the imperial examinations were placed; (old) residence of a high… |
| 二 | èr | two; 2; (Beijing dialect) stupid |
| 个 | gě | used in 自個兒|自个儿[zi4 ge3 r5]; variant of 個|个[ge4] |
| 的 | de | of; ~'s (possessive particle); (used after an attribute when it modifies a noun); (used at the end of a declarative sentence for emphasis); (used after a noun, verb or adjective to… |
| 好 | hǎo | good; appropriate; proper; all right!; (before a verb) easy to; (before a verb) good to; (before an adjective for exclamatory effect) so; (verb complement indicating completion); (… |
| 也 | Yě | surname Ye |
| 很 | hěn | very; quite; (also, often used before an adjective without intensifying its meaning, i.e. as a meaningless syntactic element) |
| 儿子 | ér zi | son |
| 给 | gěi | to; for; for the benefit of; to give; to allow; to do sth (for sb); (grammatical equivalent of 被); (grammatical equivalent of 把); (sentence intensifier) |
| 爸爸 | bà ba | (coll.) father; dad; CL:位[wei4] |
| 车 | Chē | surname Che |
| 消 | xiāo | to diminish; to subside; to consume; to reduce; to idle away (the time); (after 不[bu4] or 只[zhi3] or 何[he2] etc) to need; to require; to take |
| 息 | xī | breath; news; interest (on an investment or loan); to cease; to stop; to rest; Taiwan pr. [xi2] |
| 和 | hé | old variant of 和[he2]; surname He; (literary) harmonious (variant of 和[he2]) |
| 先 | xiān | beforehand; first; earlier; at first; originally; for the time being; for now; (prefix) my late (in referring to deceased relatives older than oneself) |
| 哪 | nǎ | how; which |
| 说好 | shuō hǎo | to come to an agreement; to complete negotiations |
Wang Ming went to see the doctor.
The doctor looked at him and said: “I have some bad news. You only have two days left to live.”
Wang Ming was very scared. “I want a second opinion!”
The doctor thought for a moment and said: “Okay. Your hair looks really bad too.”
—-
A son called his dad on the phone.
“Dad, about your car, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”
Dad said: “Tell me the good news first.”
The son said: “The airbag works really well.”