▸ 有yǒu一本yī běn很hěn有名yǒu míng的de书shū，叫jiào《人性rén xìng的de弱点ruò diǎn》。

There is a very famous book called How to Win Friends and Influence People.

▸ 它tā是shì一位yī wèi美国měi guó作家zuò jiā写xiě的de，很hěn多年来duō nián lái，很多人hěn duō rén都dōu在读zài dú它tā。

It was written by an American author, and for many years people everywhere have been reading it.

▸ 这zhè本běn书shū讲jiǎng的de是shì一个yī ge简单jiǎn dān的de问题wèn tí：怎么zěn me跟人gēn rén相处xiāng chǔ？

The book is about one simple question: how do we get along with people?

▸ 书shū里lǐ有yǒu一个yī ge很hěn有意思yǒu yì si的de说法shuō fǎ：批评pī píng就像jiù xiàng踢tī蜜蜂mì fēng的de家jiā。

There is a very interesting idea in the book: criticism is like kicking a beehive.

▸ 你nǐ什么shén me都dōu得不到dé bù dào，只会zhǐ huì被bèi咬yǎo。

You get nothing out of it — you only get stung.

▸ 为什么wèi shén me批评pī píng没有méi yǒu用yòng呢ne？

Why doesn't criticism work?

▸ 因为yīn wèi人rén被bèi批评pī píng的de时候shí hou，第一dì yī件jiàn事shì不是bù shì改变gǎi biàn，而是ér shì保护bǎo hù自己zì jǐ。

Because when people are criticized, the first thing they do is not change — it is defend themselves.

▸ 在zài自己的zì jǐ de故事gù shì里lǐ，每个人měi ge rén都是dōu shì好人hǎo rén。

In their own story, everyone is the good guy.

▸ 就算jiù suàn做错zuò cuò了事liǎo shì，人rén也yě会huì给gěi自己zì jǐ找zhǎo一个yī ge理由lǐ yóu。

Even when people do something wrong, they will find a reason to justify themselves.

▸ 所以suǒ yǐ，别bié急着jí zhe批评pī píng，先xiān试着shì zhe明白míng bai：他tā为什么wèi shén me会huì这样zhè yàng做zuò？

So don't rush to criticize — first try to understand: why did he act that way?

▸ 小李xiǎo lǐ的de公司gōng sī里lǐ有yǒu两个liǎng gè组长zǔ zhǎng，一个yī ge姓xìng王Wáng，一个yī ge姓xìng陈Chén。

At Xiao Li's company there are two team leads, one named Wang and one named Chen.

▸ 有一天yǒu yī tiān早上zǎo shang，王Wáng组长zǔ zhǎng的de组zǔ里lǐ有人yǒu rén迟到了chí dào le。

One morning, someone on Team Lead Wang's team came in late.

▸ 王Wáng组长zǔ zhǎng很hěn生气shēng qì，在zài大家dà jiā面前miàn qián大声dà shēng批评pī píng他tā：“你nǐ怎么zěn me又yòu迟到了chí dào le？”

Wang was furious and criticized him loudly in front of everyone: "How are you late again?"

▸ 那个nà ge同事tóng shì红着脸hóng zhe liǎn，一句话yī jù huà也yě没méi说shuō。

The coworker's face turned red, and he didn't say a word.

▸ 从cóng那天nà tiān起qǐ，他tā很少hěn shǎo说话shuō huà，做错zuò cuò了事liǎo shì也yě不敢bù gǎn告诉gào sù王Wáng组长zǔ zhǎng。

From that day on he barely spoke, and when he made mistakes he didn't dare tell Wang.

▸ 后来hòu lái公司gōng sī出chū了le一个yī ge大dà问题wèn tí，因为yīn wèi没有méi yǒu人rén早点zǎo diǎn说shuō出来chū lái。

Later the company had a big problem, because nobody had spoken up early.

▸ 同一tóng yī天tiān，陈Chén组长zǔ zhǎng的de组zǔ里lǐ也yě有人yǒu rén迟到了chí dào le。

That same day, someone on Team Lead Chen's team was late too.

▸ 陈Chén组长zǔ zhǎng把bǎ他tā叫jiào到dào旁边páng biān，小声xiǎo shēng问wèn：“发生fā shēng什么事shén me shì了le？”

Chen called him aside and asked quietly: "What happened?"

▸ 那个nà ge同事tóng shì说shuō：“对不起duì bù qǐ，我的wǒ de孩子hái zi昨天zuó tiān晚上wǎn shang生病shēng bìng了le，我wǒ一夜yī yè没méi睡shuì。”

The coworker said: "I'm sorry — my child got sick last night and I didn't sleep at all."

▸ 陈Chén组长zǔ zhǎng说shuō：“先xiān别bié担心dān xīn工作gōng zuò，孩子hái zi现在xiàn zài怎么样zěn me yàng了le？”

Chen said: "Don't worry about work right now — how is your child doing?"

▸ 那个nà ge同事tóng shì心里xīn li很hěn感动gǎn dòng。

The coworker was deeply moved.

▸ 从cóng那天nà tiān起qǐ，他tā工作gōng zuò得de更认真gèng rèn zhēn，有yǒu问题wèn tí也yě第一时间dì yī shí jiān告诉gào sù陈Chén组长zǔ zhǎng。

From that day on he worked harder, and whenever there was a problem he told Chen right away.

▸ 同样tóng yàng是shì迟到chí dào，两liǎng种zhǒng做法zuò fǎ，两个liǎng gè完全wán quán不同bù tóng的de结果jié guǒ。

The same lateness, two approaches, two completely different results.

▸ 批评pī píng让ràng人rén关上guān shàng门mén，理解lǐ jiě让ràng人rén打开dǎ kāi门mén。

Criticism makes people close the door; understanding makes them open it.

▸ 下次xià cì你nǐ想xiǎng批评pī píng别人bié ren的de时候shí hou，先xiān停tíng一下yī xià。

Next time you want to criticize someone, pause first.

▸ 问wèn问wèn自己zì jǐ：如果rú guǒ我wǒ是shì他tā，我wǒ会huì怎么zěn me做zuò？

Ask yourself: if I were him, what would I have done?

▸ 想xiǎng改变gǎi biàn别人bié ren，先xiān放下fàng xià手里shǒu lǐ的de批评pī píng。

If you want to change someone, first put down the criticism in your hand.

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